This is a real post

Although my spring break trip to Galveston, TX was not quite "Hard Guy Spring Break: Rwanda, Bitches!" [© hardguytees.com], it did follow through in one aspect: it inspired me to write this post. I was going to write about falling in love with a beautiful woman who I thought would be my future wife until I found out she was a lesbian and had sex with a nymphomaniac lesbian stripper from my service group, but that would be too depressing. I admit my Gaydar is off-the-charts horrible, but the only lesbians I had seen who were that hot were in Where The Boys Aren't 17 aboard the AGA (All Girls Airlines). But I digress.

The real story was the amount of times we went to Sonic. In Texas, they are like gas stations, because they are on every corner. In the Northeast, there must be a Sonic ad on every commercial break, but no one had ever been to one of these mysterious food joints. Well I reached the promised land (every day) and it was glorious.

Men who eat fast food are real men. If you do not like fast food, you are lying to yourself and probably cry yourself to sleep at night with Tofuburger residue on your hands. I once had someone say to me that I was gross because I liked McDonald's saying: "It is processed, greasy, and extremely unhealthy. You're basically eating shit. Try to incorporate more complex carbohydrates and real organic proteins into your diet." Needless to say, this person was brutally (beautifully) maimed in my dream that night. As far as I'm concerned:

fake processed meat + way too much grease + microwave = a little slice of heaven.

This list is bound to be controversial as we are very protective of our signature meals at our favorite fast food spots. But you are all wrong, this is the only right list.

TOP 10 FAST FOOD MEALS
[Note: I do not like cheese. This is probably a big factor for many people.]

10. Burger King Original Chicken Sandwich

Simple, elegant, and too often overlooked. Of all the basic chicken sandwiches, no one does it as well as Burger King. Just the chicken patty, lettuce, and mayonnaise on an oval sesame seed bun, it says, "Hey, I'm just trying to hang out. I'm not trying to be someone I'm not, I'm real, like Jenny from the Block."

Shockingly, McDonalds has not been able to duplicate Burger King's success in this department. Wendy's comes close with their spicy chicken sandwich, but it is still just an imitator. Just as how I write blog posts consisting of lists to hide the fact that I can't put together creative and well-written thoughts, Wendy's makes their chicken sandwich spicy to hide the fact that they can't put together a rock solid chicken sandwich.

9. McDonalds chicken nuggets

You either love them or hate them. I don't feel like any other chicken nugget/tender/fry/bullshit matches the unique flavor and crispy texture of the McDonalds chicken nuggett. Switching to all-white meat a few years ago didn't hurt at all; I would even say that they raised their batting average to almost 1.000. Before, I would get the occasional "a-little-hard-circular-thing-that-may-be-a-bone-but-I-really-don't-wan't-to-know" guy in one of my nuggets, but now, hardly ever. Well done Grimace and the McNuggett Buddies, you are making Papa Ronald proud.


Plus, I think I once saw Rob Kasel eat 3 dozen of these than cough up a lung.

8. Church's 3 piece chicken (2 thighs and a breast) with a honey-butter biscuit

If you want to consume 1100 calories and 92 grams of fat at a low price, truck on over to Church's Chicken. This list wouldn't be complete without some fried chicken, and damned if I give any lip service to that old hack Colonel Sanders. Church's has been overshadowed for too long; it's not fair that my only encounter with their sweet honey-butter biscuit is at the Atlanta Airport.

7. Sonic Chicken Club Toaster with tots

The bread really makes this bird fly; it turns this seemingly ordinary sandwich into an extraordinary sandwich. My only complaint is that Sonic stubbornly adheres to their outrageous ordering process. You have to order through their drive-in window every time. We had maybe 6 people trying to order, and the lady was literally standing five feet away through a clear-glass window, yet we had to talk into this little box that muffled every word we said. I almost pulled an Andy Bernard and punched right through that stupid box.


6. Carl's Jr Western Bacon Cheeseburger

The only one on the list where I need the cheese on the burger. BBQ sauce, onion rings, and bacon are a good combination on absolutely anything. Carl's Jr knocks this one out of the park. I'm surprised no one has imitated the onion rings move.

Do you know who else likes this burger? Padma. This is the best commercial of the year; Padma is just oh...my...god




5. Arby's Giant Roast Beef, curly fries, Arby's sauce

I didn't pop my Arby's cherry until age 14. True story: I was in Florida playing in a tennis tournament, and after going to Arby's for the first time, I went back all week. My last match I had a giant roast beef right before my match because I knew I was going to lose anyways (I was always a realist concerning matches- this probably had a negative effect on my career). I ended up "baby booting" a bit of roast beef on the tennis court in 110 degree heat. Everyone thought I was a warrior because they thought I was playing through a sickness. No one thinks I'm a warrior anymore.

Since that wonderful day, I've had more than one sexual fantasy involving Arby's sauce. Did you know you can get the ingredients for the sauce online at the website?

4. Jack 'N The Box sourdough jack with curly fries

I don't know why everyone doesn't make their sandwiches on sourdough. It's freaking fantastic. The sourdough jack always comes extra greasy too, like Billy Madison's extra sloppy sloppy joe's.



3. Baskin Robbins Gold Medal Ribbon shake

Wendy's once again comes up just short in the milkshake department. Their frosty is good; but it doesn't quite hold a candle to BR's Gold Medal Ribbon shake. Are you supposed to drink the frosty with a straw, or use the weird other end of the straw to spoon out the ice cream? Can anyone answer this definitively? I'd rather just hang out and sip my shake through a straw. Just like Dave Thomas, Wendy's just can't hang around.

Gold medal ribbon ice cream is just mediocre by itself, but when shaken with milk, it transforms into a whole other being. Sort of like how putting lingerie on Pam from The Office transforms her into a whole other being.

"My name is Pam, I am blah."

"Now look at me. I am wow!"

2. Panda Express: everything piled onto one plate

The reason you can pile everything onto one plate is because it all essentially tastes the same when the sauces mix. Does the orange chicken even taste like orange? No. Is it deep fried and bathed in a thick brown sauce? Yes. I wouldn't even be surprised if they deep fried real pandas and sprinkled some sesame seeds on top. It really is pretty much the same delicious mess.

I have yet to find if it's possible to eat here without your stomach trying to eat it's way out of your body directly after. And this is a distant second to...

1. McDonalds breakfast (Iced coffee, Egg McMuffin, Hash Browns)

The "Michael Vick in Madden '05" of fast food meals-- this is untouchable. Their recent addition of an incredibly large, incredibly cheap, and incredibly delicious iced coffee that comes in Hazelnut, Vanilla, and Regular flavors is like Lebron scoring 50 points at MSG while also picking up a near triple-double. He didn't have to do that, but he did it anyways. McDonald's position atop this list solidifies their position as the establishment to beat when it comes to fast food. They are at the forefront of fast food innovation (McGriddle, McFlurry, chicken selects, McRib, snackwich, salad shakers) and don't look to slow down anytime soon.

Pharrell knows what I'm talking about


BONUS:

Most overrated: In N' Out

Their burgers are just okay. Their shakes are just okay. You can't get anything else there besides this. Their fries are disgusting because their somewhat healthy. Their popularity is a testament to their brilliant marketing strategy: they keep it old-fashioned, have an extremely simple menu, rely on word of mouth, and have a "secret menu" that makes self-important people feel more self-important because they're in on something that no one else knows (except everyone knows). If these places were everywhere like McDonald's, they would lose business. This is probably why they don't expand.

Most underrated: Pizza Hut Tuesday Night Buffet

I don't think I've met one person who likes Pizza Hut and that truly baffles me. Most people don't just dislike it, they have a strong aversion to it, like Pizza Hut did something to their mother. It's inexplicable. Everyone always has their "pizza place" that is some hole-in-the-wall that is unbelievable. I doubt it because it would no longer be a hole-in-the-wall. Pizza Hut is rich enough to get a clown and a face painter every Tuesday. Deal with that.

Their Tuesday Night Buffet has unlimited salad bar, pizza, pie, and cinnastix. It also served as a second home for the Steinberg household; I was here when McGwire hit #62 to pass Roger Maris, election night 2000, and I was here when my I hit my older sister in the face with a piece of pizza because she was making fun of my pants that were a little too short so they kind of looked like really long shorts.

Suck It America

EVERYONE thought Arizona was not supposed to make the tournament. EVERYONE was wrong. God I hate EVERYONE so much right now.

We're in the sweet 16, all thanks to this guy:

"I'm Derek and I can sing high like this"

[note: if you don't understand what the title is referring to, you will find out.]

Besides Dippin' Dots ("The ice cream of the fuuuuuutuuuurrrreeee"), this is what we have to look forward to in 2009 and beyond:

Legend:

[W] Why we need to see this
[L] Level of "unsoberness" needed to enjoy movie (using professional athletes as a scale)
[F] Fun Trivia

Fast & Furious (April 3, 2009)

[W] I didn't think anything could top Diesel's "You break her heart, I'll break your neck" zinger from the first movie, but from the looks of the trailer, we are in for a real treat-- "I appreciate a fine body regardless of the make." Also, this movie is officially referred to as an "interquel" set between the second and third movies. Only a movie starring Vin Diesel would be bold enough to make up words like this.

[L] John Daly drunk.

[F] Producers begged Paul Walker not to return because he sucks, but they were contractually obligated to keep him. Sorry, that was a lie.

The Informers (April 24, 2009)

[W] Bret Easton Ellis is one of the coolest and ballsiest writers ever, as evidenced by American Psycho and The Rules of Attraction, both of which have been adapted into a classic and enjoyable movie respectively. And judging from the trailer, it looks like the director is staging a really faithful adaptation of Ellis's short stories, capturing the drugs, excess, and glamour of early 80's Los Angeles as only Ellis can depict it in his writing.



[L] 2 (David Robinson). There is always way more than meets the eye in his stories, so it's necessary to have a sharp mind to catch all the symbols and other literary devices that my 7th grade English teacher yelled at me to find.

[F] In a real-life twist of irony, this was actor Brad Renfro's last film before he died of a heroin overdose.

Bitch Slap (Spring 2009)

[W] After watching the trailer, I don't feel like any explanation is necessary. It ends with one of the bitch slappers stating, "Next stop, brown town." I've already said too much.

[L] You'd be stupid to go into this movie at anything less than a Michael Irvin/Doc Gooden hybrid.

[F] The producers describe this movie as "a post-modern, thinking man's throwback to the "B" Movie/Exploitation films of the 1950's - 70's as well as a loving, sly parody of the same."

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (June 24, 2009)

[W] I don't care what anyone thinks, Michael Bay could make a movie about my intramural basketball career, and it would be explosive. His movies don't have to have any point. We don't go see his movies to learn more about ourselves, to grow as people, and dissect true art. We go to watch an 18-wheeler turn into a gigantic robot and shoot buildings. The original Transformers was the first time I was seriously "wowed" at the cinemaplex since I was 10.

[L] Slightly less than Vin Baker-at-the-end-of-his-career drunk.

[F] Among the locations used for filming were Tucson International Airport and "The Boneyard" (both located in my hometown!), and incredibly, the Pyramids at Giza. They don't let anyone shoot movies at the Pyramids-- this will kick ass.

Public Enemies (July 1, 2009)

[W] Johnny Depp. Christian Bale. Michael Mann. Based on John Dillinger's life. Giddy-up.


[L] Kurt Warner. No intoxication is necessary for this.

[F] Depp actually wears the pants Dillinger wore when he was shot and killed. They also shot at all the same locations where the events took place, including the famous Little Bohemia Lodge where a shootout with the Feds took place.

Inglorious Basterds (August 21, 2009)

[W] A "spaghetti-western WWII film" directed by Quentin Tarantino and starring Brad Pitt. And it's about a bunch of Jewish-American soldiers who try to kill as many Nazis as possible. I'm not a Tarantino fan but Brad Pitt is so hot right now.



[L] Anywhere from Warner-God-loves-puppies-clean to Babe Ruth-sloppy. This could be great on a multiple of levels.

[F] The role in which Eli Roth plays "a baseball bat-swinging Nazi hunter" was originally conceived for Adam Sandler. Also, Mike Meyers plays a British "military mastermind." The casting director might have been trying to play a sick joke on the viewing public with these calls.


Where The Wild Things Are (October 16, 2009)

[W] Live-action adaptation of my favorite children's book. And it's directed by Spike Jonze, who did Being John Malkovich and Adaptation, so you know it's going to be trippy-weird.



[L] Usually Jonze's movies already make you feel like you're Keon Clark, who "never played a game sober."

[F] I don't like cheese! I know, it's so wierd! I eat pizza, but don't like cheese on anything else, go figure?!

Avatar (December 18, 2009)

[W] James Cameron's last three films are Terminator 2, True Lies, and Titanic. This will be his first feature film in 12 years. I have no idea why he hasn't been doing movies since he was/is considered the Lebron James of directing. Considering his movie has a $300 million budget and will be in 3-D, he is not planning on holding back.

[L] Stephon Marbury.

[F] James Cameron wrote an 80-page script for Avatar in 1995, hopefully when he was hanging out with Marbury.

The Expendables (2010)

[W] I am going to go all caps here, because there is no other way to say this: A TEAM OF MERCENARIES HEAD TO SOUTH AMERICA ON A MISSION TO OVERTHROW A RUTHLESS DICTATOR; THE TEAM OF MERCENARIES WILL CONSIST OF SYLVESTER STALLONE, MICKEY ROURKE, DOLPH LUNDGREN, JET LI, JASON STATHAM, STEVE AUSTIN, AND RANDY COUTURE.

I imagine seeing this movie will be like looking into the face of God and seeing Him smiling back and saying, "You are my most wondrous creation." I don't think God could have conceptualized a more perfect movie.

[L] Derek Duff



[F] Dolph Lundgren, the actor who plays Ivan Drago:
*holds a 3rd degree black belt and is a 3-time world champion in karate
*has studied boxing, fencing, judo, taekwondo, and goju-ryu
*has a master's in chemical engineering and was awarded a Fulbright scholarship to MIT
*speaks over 5 languages
*was a corporal in his elite marine unit in Sweden at the Amphibious Ranger School in Sweden
*will never be forgiven for killing Apollo Creed and not showing any signs of caring.

Stem Cells and MY PENIS

Beautiful day yesterday as President Obama lifted the ban on stem cell research. This was the worst ban since the civil rights era, and NO it was not a political issue. How is the potential to save countless lives, possibly cure paralysis, and eradicate disease not at the top of anyone's to-do list?

We are not killing human life (obviously). We are not even killing potential human life (less obvious). More than a third of zygotes are lost in the first few weeks of life, and many do not implant successfully during fertilization. "If the zygote is understood as one of us, then tragic deaths occur with astonishing frequency--almost as many zygotes die this way as there are pregnancies" says the scientist. Furthermore, the embryos we use are called Blastocysts, which are clusters of human cells that have not evolved into distinct human tissue-- therefore, they are no different than a skin cell. If all of that doesn't persuade you, then go paralyze yourself and explain to all the other paralyzed people why they should not have any hope because an embryo is more important than their life.

I apologize for that tangent, current events and scientific/political issues are way too non-trivial for me to comment on. So I will talk about something that happened to me today that is so ridiculous I still can't believe it happened. I will make this short.

I went to the gym at school today; I usually bring a gym bag with me so I can shower and change clothes there. Today, however, I forgot an extra pair of boxer-briefs (the best). I had no choice but to go commando. Unfortunately, the jeans I have are rough with a zipper scarier than the furnace in Home Alone. I braved the cold anyways. Things weren't all that bad until all hell broke loose when I went to the bathroom (number 1) at a urinal. I don't know why, but I didn't zip up after-- I think I was subconsciously scared of pulling a Ben Stiller from There's Something About Mary. Or maybe I was too busy trying to avoid eye contact with the guy who was moaning as he pee-peeed next to me. Either way I didn't zip up and my penis was half sticking out of the hole, kind of like a scared turtle's head. The good thing was that my embarrasment was caught before I left the men's restroom. The bad thing was that it was caught by my professor; a professor from whom I am planning on asking for a recommendation later this week.

And the way he noticed was the worst. He looked at it, then looked at me. I attempted to say something but no words came to mind. I opened my mouth and stuttered. He wasn't laughing nor did he say a word. He just stared at me while I stared at him, I too shocked to even zip up, then he walked out. Our next interaction will be me asking him for a recommendation. Yippee.

It was quite reminiscent of the infamous Teen Wolf penis that escaped the editors back in 1985. I only wish my penis was that famous. It's at 0:37 for a few seconds.

Appletini please...easy on the 'tini

I've realized that I don't have a signature drink. A man's signature drink says a lot about him. I feel if I had a drink, it would make me more original. Therefore, I am taking submissions from other people for what my signature drink should be. I will take the best idea and order it first at every bar/restaurant I go to until I decide to not do it anymore. It has to be entirely unique and entirely me.

I won't be offended by any suggestions.

Beautiful Banker Yields Interest

Many of you might have already seen this, as I forwarded this like it was hot to everyone I know (about a large mini-van's full of acquaintances). And this has already been dissected on bigger slightly more well-written sites like Gawker.com, but I have something to add to this. David I. A. Webb was a fellow frat bro and tennis teammate. This article makes him look like a Frodo Douchebaggins; that is unfortunate. I'm not surprised at all that his post-collegiate life turned out this way. If someone had told me that he and his buddies would count up and compare how many hours they each slept a week, I would have just pointed to my "Hard Guy" t-shirt with Webb's face on it. After all, "he is a very handsome Canadian with a chiseled jaw line” (from the article, I swear). Here is what I have to add.

Preface: Webb got arrested for drunkenly stealing candy bars and ice cream from a gas station in college. Yes, he really did tell the officer he was Canadien out of nowhere. This is from the official police report:

Police Officer Schlosser:
I pulled over and asked the individual to stop. I got out of
the cruiser and walked over to him. While I was standing
there, he was swaying back and forth and dropped a couple of
candy bars he was holding. He also had in his hand an ice
cream carton....Mr. Webb's eyes were bloodshot and he had
urinated on himself.....I asked Mr. Webb where did he get
all the food and he stated at Foodstop. I asked him if he
had paid for it and he took a minute and then said,
"Yes."....I told him I got a report that the food was taken
without paying for it. Mr. Webb was quiet for a minute and
then said he wanted to go back and pay for the food. I asked
him him if he had taken the food without paying and again he
said no, but he told me he wanted to go back and pay for it
and not cause any trouble.....He told me he was Canadian and
again he stated he did not want to cause any trouble....I
told Mr. Webb that he was under arrest for Shoplifting and
Unlawful Possession of Alcohol. Again Mr. Webb stated he
wanted to go back and pay for the food. He stated he wanted
to make everything right. I told him that I was going to
search him and for him to empty out his pockets on the
cruiser. He took out his wallet and some more candy bars. I
asked him if there was anything else in his pockets before I
search him and he stated, "No". I then searched him and
found two more candy bars in his pockets....

[Thanks to Drew Dinkmeyer '04 for the report.]

And here is the official list of what he stole:

Ben & Jerry's Uncanny Cashey Ice Cream
Good Humor Ice Cream Sandwich
Good & Plenty Candy
Kit Kat
Amazing Fruit Gummy Bears
Hershey's Skor Bar
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
Hershey's Chocolate Bar
Haagan-daz Vanilla & Almonds Ice Cream

This puts a smile on my face every time I read it. Just like Shaq's Twitter. This is real-- he has confirmed this in multiple interviews. The coolest and most personable NBA player of all-time constantly updates his life to anyone who chooses to listen. His updates include this nugget: "I'm n the mia on the beach whoever touches me gets 2 ticket u have 30 min." Whoever touches him first? I hope he finds a way to stay in my life forever. Or this: "I think I just saw brittney spears, I'm not sure tho". How much cooler can this guy get-- I mean he came out and danced with the Jabberwockies at the All-Star game.



He also posts personal pictures, like these pictures of him sleeping and getting a haircut.



Maybe I'm weird, but I'm fascinated.

I'm White but I still know the definition of O.P.P.

As one of the last true hip-hop heads around these here parts, I must complain about the state of today's hip-hop music. It has become god-awful. As Nas so eloquently puts it in "Hip Hop Is Dead"

Everybody sound the same, commercialize the game
Reminiscin' when it wasn't all business.

And I say hip-hop, not rap. Rap music is a subset of hip-hop. Hip-hop music contains the rap, but it's so much more than that. And Lil Wayne is the figurehead of the new movement that is pulling hip-hop away from when it really mattered. I don't get it when Lil Wayne opines:

Every man on offense Single-tary defense
Super-duper-extra-much-really-very-street shit
That is how I keeps it R.I.P. Beepsy
I do it how I do it 'cuz I know my niggas see me.

He might have had an aneurysm during the second line but no one noticed nor cared. I'm not just talking about Lil Wayne, I'm talking about every Lil: Lil Bow Wow, Lil Jon, Lil Boosie, Lil Scrappy, Lil Rob, Lil Whyte, Lil Mo, Lil Flip, Lil Troy, Lil Cease, Lil Fizz, and even Lil Abner (And every Young: Young Buck, Young Joc, Young MC, Young Dro, Young Jeezy Young Berg). I make a noticable exception for Lil Romeo. Because there is nothing like a cute little 12 year-old butchering one of the most influential and iconic rap songs of all time:



The aspect that stands out in today's rap music is not the lyrical beauty or the raw, perfectly complementary beats-- that would be what good music used to be. It's the unoriginality, highlighted by massive overproduction that creates heavy basslines to drown out any horrible music and rapping. As long as you can dance to it, then it's a hit. I mean, the real stars here are the producers. These days, you can take any million dollar beat from a Scott Storch, Timbaland, or Just Blaze and scream incomprehensible racist rants that don't make any sense. Or you can go the other way and make a sweet love song that is ridiculously sexually explicit and has been done a million times. Or you can take any recognizable song and sample the shit out of it-- The Diplomats have built their entire career off of this tactic. I think rap music is being made to become top-selling ringtones.

I don't expect every album to come out to be like Nas's Illmatic. But I wish they were inspired by it. I still want the music to invoke powerful emotions. Has our standard for good hip-hop music fallen that low? The #1 hip-hop song on Itunes right now is "Right Round" by Flo Rider. Tell me how this song is any different from a pop song by Pink or Gwen Stefani. Soulja Boy? Are you kidding me? Asher Roth at #6-- the fact that this guy is an exact rip off of Eminem just shows you how desperate we are for quality hip-hop music. Unfortunately, the emcee's who had true talent are succumbing to this new trend. Kanye West, who is one of the most visionary rappers in the game, puts out 808s & Heartbreak. Common, who's Be might be the greatest hip-hop album this decade, puts out Universal Mind Control. I booted in my mouth after listening to both these pseudo-techno-pop-bullshit albums full of wierd and jumpy noises (AND I was on the treadmill at the gym when this happened so, doubly embarrasing).

I blame Master P's "Make 'Em Say Uhh" and the advent of No Limit Records for laying the groundwork.




Quick thought: How many rap songs come out a month that contain these lyrics"

I'm down here slangin, rollin with these hustlers
Tryin to get rid of all you haters and you bustas
Steppin on toes, break a niggaz nose
In the projects niggaz anything goes

Has anyone even realized yet that Mystikal was just basically screaming rambling nonsense out of tune and out of rhythm on every song? By the way, Mystikal is currently serving a six year prison sentence in the Louisiana State Prison for sexual battery and extortion.


There is hope though. Lupe Fiasco is by far the best current rap artist out there right now (I put Eminem on the 5-year DL due to excessive sleeping pill consumption and eating). He is the future of where hip-hop music is headed. His music is entirely unique, his delivery is flawless, and the production is nuanced and layered, perfectly complementing his laid-back flow. There are many who are creating magic in the underground; Brother Ali, Atmosphere, Murs, AZ, Edan, Aesop Rock, and Josh Weinberg. In the mainstream we still have the Clipse, Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Outkast, The Roots, and Eminem (when he returns). Jay-Z's last solo album was a complete disaster, and he hasn't been on top of his game since The Black Album, so he is in limbo. And even though I didn't enjoy Nas's last album, his music is still raw as hell, basically the antithesis of Lil Wayne (who many mistakingly label as "raw"). Each one of these artists continue to stretch themselves and seem to make music that they actually care about.

Aliya Ewing, a writer from www.hiphopdx.com, makes a great point about Lil Wayne in her most recent post:

Lil Wayne (or a rapper with similar musical themes and persona) makes sub-par music with themes like “making it rain”… young kids who don’t know any better (or don’t care) support it because ‘it’s just music’ and they wanna dance. Plus, everything they watch on MTV and other channels geared towards them is centered around promiscuity, materialism, and ignorance, so Lil Wayne ’s music is a soundtrack to their current lifestyles…ad agencies jump on this like piranhas because of the insane purchasing power of their demographic (according to some studies, industry spending on advertising to children has exploded in the past decade, increasing from a mere $100 million in 1990 to more than $2 billion in 2000, and has been rising since then). They do hours of research and create pie charts that map out the amount of money to be made (which is a lot), then decide: if Lil Wayne is what the kids think they want , then Lil Wayne is what the kids will get. (Because if our children want to eat sugary-sweet pie until they are comatosed or vomit, we should let them, right?)….So Wayne gets crazy endorsement deals and record deals from the executives who are after cash…then after Wayne floods the airwaves, a mass group of struggling rappers who want a piece of the American pie realize that Wayne ’s style is now being slated as “the future of Hip Hop” so they start to emulate his style and musical themes…and that’s my theory on how we end up with Hip Hop’s demise and the rise of unacceptable musical leaders. Lil Wayne by far is not the first rapper to make detrimental music, but he IS one of the most visible and influential leaders of mainstream Hip Hop right now

That's why she writes for a mainstream music website and I implement Google AdSense in an attempt to try to make money off my puny blog and fail miserably.

95% of hip-hop artists don't have any real talent. How do you think Lil Wayne would do on 'American Idol'? Rappers can't compete on American Idol because rapping isn't really that hard or take much talent anyways. Therefore it takes a very talented and orginial rapper to create really good music and stand out. It's hard to separate the good from the bad, and the American public's inability to do so is creating an environment that rewards the bad and hides the good.

I am not saying that you can't make great rap music that you can also dance to. My current favorite hip-hop group are The Hilltop Hoods. They are already the most popular and best-selling hip-hop group of all-time in Australia. They are simply original.



Here's hoping that Mos Def's 'The Ecstatic', Lupe's 'LupEND', Dre's 'Detox', and Eminem's 'Relapse' all deliver the goods in 2009-- and also that Joaquin Phoenix's rap career is a joke.