Stem Cells and MY PENIS

Beautiful day yesterday as President Obama lifted the ban on stem cell research. This was the worst ban since the civil rights era, and NO it was not a political issue. How is the potential to save countless lives, possibly cure paralysis, and eradicate disease not at the top of anyone's to-do list?

We are not killing human life (obviously). We are not even killing potential human life (less obvious). More than a third of zygotes are lost in the first few weeks of life, and many do not implant successfully during fertilization. "If the zygote is understood as one of us, then tragic deaths occur with astonishing frequency--almost as many zygotes die this way as there are pregnancies" says the scientist. Furthermore, the embryos we use are called Blastocysts, which are clusters of human cells that have not evolved into distinct human tissue-- therefore, they are no different than a skin cell. If all of that doesn't persuade you, then go paralyze yourself and explain to all the other paralyzed people why they should not have any hope because an embryo is more important than their life.

I apologize for that tangent, current events and scientific/political issues are way too non-trivial for me to comment on. So I will talk about something that happened to me today that is so ridiculous I still can't believe it happened. I will make this short.

I went to the gym at school today; I usually bring a gym bag with me so I can shower and change clothes there. Today, however, I forgot an extra pair of boxer-briefs (the best). I had no choice but to go commando. Unfortunately, the jeans I have are rough with a zipper scarier than the furnace in Home Alone. I braved the cold anyways. Things weren't all that bad until all hell broke loose when I went to the bathroom (number 1) at a urinal. I don't know why, but I didn't zip up after-- I think I was subconsciously scared of pulling a Ben Stiller from There's Something About Mary. Or maybe I was too busy trying to avoid eye contact with the guy who was moaning as he pee-peeed next to me. Either way I didn't zip up and my penis was half sticking out of the hole, kind of like a scared turtle's head. The good thing was that my embarrasment was caught before I left the men's restroom. The bad thing was that it was caught by my professor; a professor from whom I am planning on asking for a recommendation later this week.

And the way he noticed was the worst. He looked at it, then looked at me. I attempted to say something but no words came to mind. I opened my mouth and stuttered. He wasn't laughing nor did he say a word. He just stared at me while I stared at him, I too shocked to even zip up, then he walked out. Our next interaction will be me asking him for a recommendation. Yippee.

It was quite reminiscent of the infamous Teen Wolf penis that escaped the editors back in 1985. I only wish my penis was that famous. It's at 0:37 for a few seconds.