C'mon, really?!

This video in no way reminds me of FRAT, which in every way reminds me of shocking news I heard today about my FRAT. We almost always have 3 dogs in the yard (and sometimes 4 dogs in the yard!). They are the best part of the house, and by all accounts cooler than 50% of the house. On a rainy day, I would spoon with Mac on my couch and watch the Dr. Phil show. Even as an "ex-bro," I am still appalled at the name of our latest puppy: Chief. I mean, really?

To fully understand why this is so appalling, please go here. Created by my fellow highly esteemed FRAT bro, Timmy D, this site is nothing if not genius. Any site that combines "Scratch Ticket of the Week", restaurant reviews (the all dude bartenders at Eastern Standard are not "chief worthy"), and blatant racist commentary about the Maury TV show all in one expertly-designed and edited website is worth a bookmark in my web browser. In fact, this site was the only real inspiration behind my making a completely useless and random blog (where I seem to have resorted to just making fun of friends I had in college, who probably don't consider me their friend anymore).

But, the dogs, to me, were more than the house. They were tradition. They represented the old school Theta Delt. Always a black lab with a red collar, they had stately names like Jackson T. Lodge, Maclean T. Lodge, and Cassius T. Lodge (unfortunately Booker. T. Lodge was vetoed). They asserted our alpha-male status on campus. Naming a dog Chief, no doubt inspired by the website, spoils this tradition. I don't want one of our dogs associated with this. They are two separate worlds that shouldn't meet. Now-- worlds collide.

[4 dogs in the yard, but one isn't ours, so really 3 dogs in the yard. I think the one with the green collar is Kasel's? Maybe it isn't Kasel's because there isn't a chicken dumpling from the Orient in front of it.]

2/10 Correction: The dog in the green collar is Fletcher, up visiting as a fellow alumnus. As astute IRNJOT (it's an acronym, get it) follower "The Less Cool" David Chattman has pointed out, "Retirement gives you the liberty of collar choice." I apologize for this egregious and highly regrettable mistake. Although I was right in pointing out that it couldn't have been Kasel's dog because of the absence of chicken dumplings.

The last time one of our dogs was bestowed with such a bad name, Boomer, he basically followed the same career path as the real "Boomer," David Wells. A lot of promise early, freakish talent, but ultimately was too stubborn to listen to anyone, and resorted to walking into rooms filled with people, farting, then walking away (which I would not put past David Wells). His body even broke down a la Wells due to a nagging hip injury that sidelined him for 3 straight pig roasts.

Will he one day turn into the second coming of Mac? It's possible but, highly unlikely. Mac was the smartest, fastest, most handsome dog Theta Delt has seen. He would ace his organic chemistry exams the day after swimming 50 laps in the river. And he wouldn't hesitate to maul anyone who tread upon his turf (see picture).



Just like Fox News's feelings about Obama, I don't agree with this choice at all, but I will begrudgingly root for him to succeed. Good luck, Chief.